The keep it simple guide to chakras...

If we fear we don't act..
If we feel we don't fear..
If we do then we love..
If we love then we speak..
If we speak then we see..
If we see then we know..

My Facebook Philosophy

Facebook logo Español: Logotipo de Facebook Français : Logo de Facebook Tiếng Việt: Logo Facebook (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Recently I left on a long road trip.  I had gathered all my video equipment and had visions of making vlogs of my travels like so many hundreds of others have done on Youtube.  It didn't happen that way though.  I gave it a few shots, took some photos, and videos but my attention was always on what I was doing, and who I was visiting with.

I never saw Facebook as a destructive thing.  I always kept my post positive and PC and it never gave me a headache.  The realization I had was at a point in my vacation where I was ignoring the company I was with to browse Facebook. I wasn't focusing on the friends in my presence and what for?

I did an experiment and the next time I opened Facebook I counted how many post I viewed before I found anything that was entertaining. I counted 20 the first time.  There were many post by friends past, old crushes, acquaintances, and friends from old lives that have well moved on. There was also a ton of click bait.

The next time I went on Facebook I counted over forty post and ads before I got distracted with some click bait.

I thought about Facebook for a long time before deciding to de-activate it. This was about halfway through my road trip to visit my dad in Albuquerque. Quickly I realized how many other apps on my phone require my Facebook account. Waze, Oculus, and my contacts all use Facebook.

I went through logging out and de-activating several more times over the next few days. I was heading up through Denver and wanted to visit an old friend so I needed to get ahold of her on Facebook.  Then I de-activated it once again.

All this de-activating and activating got me out of the habit of checking Facebook all the time.  I was pretty happy with that until I started receiving messages from friends that thought I deleted them, or blocked them. I had no idea that I would be accused of being shady for not having an online presence.
I learned a lot.  I learned that you can look away from Facebook, but will have hell to pay if you quit. Many apps won't work and apparently if you do not have an online presence anymore and are capable of doing so you will be ostracized and lose trust.

Times have changed.  I guess I am just getting older. I choose to write long winded articles that nobody that actually know me read.  I am sure some people that actually do know me read it, but mostly just find what I write when they are looking for it.

My new philosophy on Facebook.

You cannot get rid of Facebook without a negative social stigma, and many apps you can not use without an account.

Many westerners believe that Buddhist don't like photographs because it steals their soul. That is actually not true at all, but was an early mis-interpretation. They believe that photos do not reflect the present - so looking at them reminds you of what was in the past in the present.  It is not a bad or evil thing, but a twist that can take away from living in the present.

Facebook is like a life photograph I suppose. It shows that you have had nothing to hide as long as you make little glimpses of your life out publicly. It doesn't really, but that seems to be the stigma.  Unfortunately when I find someones Facebook I too feel I know more about them, but do I? I have only met very few old friends from a long time ago, and I would have been better off meeting a stranger.  I did not know them at all and my perception of them was distorted by years of flowery post.  I assumed they were everything they portrayed.  I fell for the pretty packaging.  We all do, that is why there is so much.  We don't advertise the bad things about ourselves, our problems, or quirks.

That is why I blog.  I like to write my thoughts out in lots of words.  I like to imagine that someone will read this and actually comprehend what I am saying.  I don't really care to hear from you unless you want to disagree with me,  you want to challenge my train of thought, set me on a straight path, or enlighten me. That is the only way I refine what I believe.

Socrates said, "I can teach you nothing, only make you think." I like to think and it is a past time.  I don't want to drive those I love crazy with it, and I certainly don't want to hear every opinion on what I write.

For years I have had Facebook, and for years I have been blogging.  I have deleted some blogs, but mostly all reflect my thoughts, feelings, and philosophy at the time I wrote them.

So I will have a Facebook.  I will not be checking it, and hopefully all those apps I use don't distract my friends list. Instead I will by happily sharing my life as I do on my blog.

As for Facebook.. There is a time and a place for it, it is a tool. I will be using my other tools, where I can type many more words and express myself in long winded tangents.

Building a Campervan - Part 1

2015 Chevy Express 2500 on the lot. 

In August of last year I decided to build a Campervan.  I traded my Jeep in for a full size cargo van and began the conversion process. Vans are the most practical vehicle in my opinion.  You can haul up to 8000 lbs and another 8000 behind it easily with room to spare.  When you park you utilize all the square footage of your parking space.

Perhaps a campervan would not be the best vehicle for you, but for me it was the obvious choice. Prior to looking for a van I had looked at Class A, B, and C RVs. There were several reasons why I chose a Van over an RV.

Empty cargo hold brand new. 

• Vans are cheaper to fix mechanically. Vans are plentiful and while a Class A windshield will run you $3500 and take a professional to install, while you can get a new Van windshield for about $150. 
• Vans are sturdier. RVs are designed to be large and light. Exteriors are made of plastic, fiberglass, or sheetmetal. A van has a steel shell to protect you from the elements.
• Vans are easier to drive and park. Taking up only the space of a large car you don't have to worry about wide turns and low overpasses. You can also go through drive thrus in a Van while you would have to park most RVs. 
• Reliability. RVs are not designed to be daily drivers.  They are designed to be used about 30 days a year.  
• Horsepower. Vans are nimble enough to pass cars on two lane roads, and fly over the steepest overpasses without slowing to a crawl. 
• Aesthetics - When your parked in an RV people assume you are living there or at the very least camping. A white cargo van is plain and discreet enough no one gives them much attention and are less likely to target you. 
• Security. There are fewer windows to break on a cargo van, you can separate your sleeping quarters from your driving quarters, and people are less likely to break into something they can't see in. 
• RV's have complicated pre-installed systems that are often overkill, or not powerful enough. Good luck tracing shorts in your RV tracing wires you never saw before to change out that 'lowest bidder' modified sine wave inverter that fried your new laptop and other sensitive electronic devices. 
• Large down payment and high markup. Financiers require you place a large amount down to purchase a new RV.  Although this may be as small as 4% this is a good chuck of change on a $79k vehicle. 
• Inability to change design.  With the plumbing, wiring, and appliances already installed it is difficult to change the layout.  It will be hard to haul cargo or passengers in an RV, while a van can be easily converted in a few minutes if built modular. 

While I enjoyed having a Jeep.  It was fun to drive and you could take the doors and roof off in the summer. However the nights I would spend camping left comfort behind in place of sexy ruggedness. The ability to carry any weight with a Jeep is unfortunately very light. A two door Jeep can only tow 1500 lbs. Crawling over axle bending rocks at slow speed miles from assistance is a different sport.  It is expensive and more mechanically challenging than my taste desire. I enjoy parking my vehicle, then hiking in to explore the wildlife and terrain.    I enjoy sleeping on a memory foam mattress with a fan blowing fresh sea air on my face while I sleep.  I also enjoy being able to take enough amenities with me to fully enjoy my stay.  This means being able to go to the bathroom, cook, and clean in or around my vehicle.

So after deciding to get a low mile cargo van I started to shop.  Vans are plentiful if you look and I found a decent one at a fair price at a local dealership. I settled on a 2015 Chevy Express Van 2500.  It was a retired rental van from Oklahoma with 32k miles on it. With a small fuel efficient 4.8 v8 it gets a consistent average of 15.8 mpg.

The cargo bay was completely stripped empty with the exception of cargo dome lights and a rubber mat on the floor which suited my creative side nicely.

A note about buying commercial vehicles.
It is important to make sure your vehicle is registered as the appropriate class you are intending to use

In California commercial vehicle license plates start with 1.

it or you may pay heavily for that.

When I purchased my Van I did not realize it was registered as a commercial cargo van until the dealership requested I pay an additional $120 for my registration.  I found out the yearly registration on a commercial cargo van includes a weight charge in California bringing my yearly registration to over $400.

I did some research by calling the DMV and dealership.  DMV instructed me to find out why they were registering it as a commercial vehicle so I then called the dealership.   Apparently since they sold it to me configured as a cargo van there was no reason not to register it as anything else.

By this time a little over a month had past and I had already started to build it out as a campervan.  I found out that in order to change a registered vehicle type I needed to have a Reg 31 form completed by a certified Highway Patrol Officer or private inspector service. I found out there was one officer in my county certified and he happened to have an appointment available within a week.

I took the vehicle to the Highway Patrol Station and the officer inspected the modifications I had made.  He reported that I had to change enough in order to determine it's primary use is no longer for cargo hauling.  Since I had installed a folding sleeper sofa, table, paneling, and carpet the officer said it now qualifies as a CamperVan.  He gave me the form which I in turn drove to the dealership and they were nice enough to file it with the registration costing me nothing and bringing my registration down $200.

My insurance did not go up when it was registered as a commercial vehicle, however in some states I hear that if you have your vehicle registered as commercial you will also need to carry commercial insurance as well which can be double or more what private insurance would be.

Starting the conversion.

 The first thing I wanted to do was the ceiling and sides. I decided on a real wood look.  At the hardware store I purchased..

• Several 1" x 3" redwood boards for attaching to the metal frame. 

  

  Returning from the hardware store.

• Several 1" x 2" redwood planks
• Lots of 1/8" x 3" siding v-notch pine planks.
• Two boxes of premium aromatic cedar v-notch planks for contrast and design. 
• Titebond II or III glue.  You can remove the screws once this glue sets.  Often stronger than the wood by itself. 
• Self taping sheet metal screws for attaching wood to metal frame of van. 
• Small wood screws to hold wood in place along curved interior surface until the wood settles and glue holds. 
• Clamps.  Helpful to hold together pieces not screwed in. 

The idea was to minimize modifications to the original structure of the van to maintain its strength and damages to existing structure. The interior was designed along the curvature of the van and re-enforced by planks running perpendicular to the ceiling planks.  

After tacking the wooden supports to the frame every few feet the planks were glued together at the notch and held along the curvature of the roof with wood screws to the plank.  These were removed once the glue dried to give it a cleaner appearance.

The cargo dome lights were disconnected and placed along side the frame beams and 3/4" higher than previously mounted in the wood ceiling.

It was during this time I also ran wire for my backup camera and rear speakers so that I could easily run them in the wall space behind the wood.

At the end of the van my 1" x 3" planks did not reach all the way to the back.  This required some creative cross bracing and wood to extend the ceiling to the back.

The walls were next.  I used the same strategy for mounting the planks as the ceiling.  Using 1" x 3" planks for the vertical supports, I glued and screwed the planks along the side of the van.

Extra wood was used as supports to hold the planks tightly in their notches while the glue dried.  v-notch wood is very slim and the notch breaks easily making it a bit difficult to bend along the curvature and tack at the same time.

I alternated pine and cedar planks and the van started to smell like a forest before long.

At this point I took a break from wood working to work on several other projects to personalize my new adventure vehicle.

I added switches to control various electronic devices. Blue switch controls the amplifier for my sound system so I can turn the bass down off highway. The green switch activates the backup camera.  Rather than hooking it up to the backup lights this provides me the ability to turn it on and off manually.  These first two switches are wired to ACC so they turn off with the vehicle.

The other two switches are wired to constant 12v.  The red switch controls starter battery power to the rear electronics in the event of alternate battery failure.  This provides power to close the roof vent remotely if it is open, as well as LED lights and TV.

To prevent curious eyes from peering in I tinted the rear cargo windows dark. In combination with interior blinds they appear completely blacked out.

This had to be done twice.  The first time I tried to do it myself and I was not happy with how the tint wrinkled.  I took it in to a local shop and they had them both tinted for $50.  Unless you have access to good quality tinting, or can manipulate cheap auto store tint I recommend having this done professionally.

Cost of tinting yourself is, however, twice as cheap and half as good.

• $15.99 for enough tint for just two windows.
• $4.99 soap solution.
• $5 Squeegee 
• Time and frustration (worth a lot)

Now that the wood finish and tinting is done it is time to get started installing toys. 

Perceptions and Individuality

Process of perception, approach and framework of perception (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When people dislike something in someone else they try to find validation for it.  It is the only way to justify our own value and improve ourselves is to understand our dislikes. Often our dislikes in others are traits we found selfish within ourselves.  These may be not actually be real though. Sometimes our perceptions pervert what is real.  Zen philosophy values recognizing what is real versus perception.

An example would be a man with long hair.  To a hippie from the sixties this might symbolize freedom and strength. However to a military man who was raised in a military home this would be seen as lazy, unkempt, dirty, cowardly, and undisciplined. The fact remains that no one but the man really knows what the heck his long hair is about.  In fact he may be creative, disciplined, intelligent and strong, but perception solely belongs to those that perceive.

We feel safe when we blend in.  We feel safe because people are always looking to test what is different.  The nail that sticks up the most gets pounded the hardest.  When we see individuals break barriers and do things out of the norm we become very curious.  Those that ride boldly know the consequence of sticking out in the crowd.

English: Time perception by a form (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Where I live in California we have many hundreds of cultures all together. Meeting and becoming friends with others meets challenges you will not get in an older place with built in customs and traditions the entire community understands. One example is the word Church. If your a native in a small town in Kansas and hear a man goes to church, it is a positive thing.  The implication is that this is a man accepted and trusted by the community as a whole because there are very few churches with different values. The similarity in values among the various congregations are alike and everyone is aware of them.  A man who goes to church might be trusted more or held in a higher regard socially.  In California when someone says they go to church, it often draws a blank.  Here we have mosque, synagogues, chapels, retreats, cults, churches, and temples. There is no way to know which church one is referring to without asking them specifically. In fact you will be more likely seen as a simple man with narrow belief structure and may not find the support in your community you would have elsewhere. Where this would be assumed in one place to mean something, in another it may not mean anything at all.

Another example would be when I moved from Kansas to California.  I had recently graduated from Wichita State University. As I wandered silicon valley with my resume in hand, I realized that the name of the college was really unknown language to Californians. I graduated from Wichita State University which is well known in the midwest, however interviewers would ask. "Which? it what state? What state is that?" While I was in Kansas this degree had some pull. In California, my employers had to Google my college just to make sure they didn't know of a new state called Wichita.

If you don't like what you see.. change your perspective.. photography 101. 

Leave Facebook?

Facebook logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Social media.  It has become a way to see your friends in between commercials. I can not say it is any better than TV, but cannot determine it is any worse.  As with all tools there is a right way to use it and a wrong way to use it. That is unless you are doing the wrong thing, then any tool is going to be wrong.

I never believed in ditching tools.  They have come in handy for many reasons. Facebook is one social media tool I am quite familiar with.  While friends had problems with drama on Facebook I sailed by wondering what the problem was that so many people were having.  I felt I mastered Facebook.  What I mastered, however, was not being noticed.

My Facebook post were incredibly PC.  I was only sharing the top 1% of the very top politically correct post.  Rarely having any discussions or arguments because I never shared who I was underneath. I never shared my pains, frustrations, and insecurities.  These are the first places ill minded people and family like to kick you when your down. I did exactly what everybody else on my Facebook list was doing.  They were all becoming better people over the years, or was it just their profiles?

I used Facebook without much thought for years.  10 years to be more accurate. I would check it on the toilet, or waiting at DMV.  If I was in a rather boring meeting I would peruse the shuffled advertisements, friends post, and things my friends thought to share.

Now there are your real friends and everyone else. Your real friends are formed out of tribulation and refined by fire. As it is with most of my college and military buddies, your lives go in very different directions, however when your together it is like you never left.  There is nothing hard to talk about. In fact it is a rather joyful occasion every time we meet.

Then there are the other friends.  The ones that grew on you from years at a job you never belonged at. There are your drinking buddies from pity parties past. There are the ones that only befriended you because of another friend, gossip mongers, and too many combinations and variables to list.

Then of course there is your family. Now your family gives a little sunshine to Facebook.  You never chose to like these people, but must because they are the only family you have and have likely as I have learned to love them through this life regardless.

One thing I always told myself that was good advice is that Facebook is a platform like a stage.  The audience is everyone you know and they know.  If your not careful with your privacy settings it is out there for the whole world.  So I would not tell a joke on Facebook that I would not tell my Grandmother.

So I became as predictable and comfortable in my post as Mr Rogers.  So this is why I don't use Facebook.  It is like a conversation where you have to wait your turn to speak. It is the wrong place to discuss political issues or religion.  The things that actually really matter.

I am going to post here.  It is not forced on you. You won't wake up in the morning to my new post being pushed to your phone.  Instead you have to look for me.

What am I doing?

My Big Year

Russian Gulch Beach CA. 

This year is a big year for me!  I planned to blog about it all along the way, even had dreams of finding time to make youtube videos. I knew this year would be significant to me, I spent half my 39th year on this earth planning for it. I also spent 4 years saving for it.

Life never goes as you plan it though. I heard in a Beatles song that life is what happens while your busy making plans.

I wrote a lot of articles during that time.  I wrote for hours and hours. I was trying to figure out what it was that was bothering me.

The cause of suffering is resisting what is. What was it that I was resisting? Why did I have this entire need to do what I did?  I still cannot answer this question.

I wrote a lot of articles about what I did, but this was also a time of reflection for me. I was busy trying to figure out what I was going to do with the next half of my life.

Building the Ark

I was at a unique place in my life. I had a great paying, medium paced government job. I had always been energetic and have a need to interact with people and create. This job was working, but was killing something inside me slowly.  I saw that reliable retirement slipping away as my life expectancy became shorter everyday.

The job did not match, but that was not my only issue I wanted to change.  My work was located in the very heart of downtown Stockton.  There's great people in Stockton and I have many friends there, but it was not where I wanted to settle. My second year at my job I started to look to buy a house. Unsatisfied with the value and location of everything in the town my third year I started to look within a 45 minute commute of work. I moved

out of Stockton and back three times.

By the end of my 3rd year at my job I was tired.  I tried to look for new jobs, but no matter how great the job was or the town it was in seemed I stayed negative.  I felt like I needed a reset, I needed a long break.  I thought about trying to squeeze a few weeks for vacation between jobs, but I would feel rushed and there were other things on my mind.

I wanted to visit my dad for his 70th birthday in New Mexico, and I wanted to do some camping.  I wanted to do a LOT of camping.  I thought I wanted to get away from everyone in the world.  It seemed refreshing to me.

So nine months before I quit my job I shopped for RVs, sold my Jeep, and bought a cargo van.  My project for the next 9 months while I saved my money and cut my bills down was to build the inside of the van into a camper van.  I took care of my late stepfathers house while I took this project on which provided me with a large garage and shop to do my work. It gave me hope.  I had no idea what would happen when I quit my job.  I still don't.  All I did know was that I was real tired.  Tired and needed hope.

Enduring with Hope

My work was becoming almost intolerable. There was a change of management and the ensuing stampede of co-workers to climb to the top.  It was suggested to me that I apply for the position many times, but I had turned into a real shit bird.  I was not at a point in my life to lead anyone.  I had picked up habits of complaining, and general not give a fuckery.

Two years before this would have been my dream.  I spent a lot of time on extra outreach programs to further my career while I was there.  I was part of a year long mentorship program where I was paired up with a manager to learn the ropes.  I am good at leading, but I will not lead at all if I am not going to be good at it.

While my co-workers were congratulating me on a job well done my own standards were slipping. I was becoming cynical and miserable. I started making more friends around the office and when I started to hang out with them outside of work I realized they were way ahead of me. Sure I used to smoke pot to deal with stress, boredom, and anger. That was always something that I manage therapeutically and cycle its use intentionally.  Heavy drugs like lots of alcohol, meth, and pills were used to cope more often than I had ever seen before in my life.

Family boat on lake Hogan in Valley Springs. 

It didn't help to realize this.  It didn't give me any solutions.  I realized that whatever turd was in the punch bowl had circulated throughout.  It was impossible to locate the turd and anything that comes in contact with the turd eventually is valued just as much.  This is how it went with myself.

Cutting the Cord

Camping with my family at Mackerricher State beach.

So in March I gave my two weeks notice.  I remembered it being a very long two weeks.  People were curious, startled, confused, and emotional.   I got all my projects ready at home.  I was picturing everything I was going to do and it was great.

Life barely changed though.  I took the first 3 months to help my mom around the house, do some camping, and some nothing.

I went camping many times.  Sometimes with friends, sometimes alone.  I attempted to make some YouTube videos but was unsatisfied with my work for some reason.

Road Trip

So in June I set off.  My first stop was Morro Bay, CA. I camped out one night and was excited to get going early so I continued off to San Diego overnight.  I got to San Diego and pulled my van into a busy RV park.  I was not feeling social at all so I cut my trip short and set out along the southwest border of the US through the desert. I thought I would stop at Slab City, but again was not feeling social so I kept driving.

Visiting White Sands.  A most exquisite place on earth. 

The next day I spent some time at White Sands, NM.  I always liked the miles of gypsum sand.  It is a very unique and confusing feeling being there.  Like the world is covered with warm snow.  I recommend everyone go there.  You will only need a few hours to make it a solid memory.

I visited with my Dad in New Mexico for two weeks.  He was in the middle of moving to a new place, so there was a lot going on, but we had a great time.  Did a whole lot of talking, and visited with some friends that are dear to him.

From there I had planned to go to the San Padre Islands in Texas.  After spending the better part of two weeks in the desert I decided to head north to Colorado. I visited an old friend and then decided to head back to California and re-visit the Morro Bay Area.  I used to live there and absolutely love it.

Hanging out at a cowboy bar with my dad in Albuquerque. 

I went back to the Morro Bay, Pismo Beach, and San Luis Obispo area.  I spent time at the beaches, campsites, hotels, and bars.  I bought new tires for the van, and then got my van stuck three times on the beach within 3 hours.  By the end of the week I was tired, and was spending too much money so I headed back toward my moms house.

I decided I had learned what I needed to this year.  I have what I was after even though it was not at all what I thought it would be.  Now I am ready to get back in the game.  Time to find a new job and get on with the other half of my life.

Going forward

I write this as I sit in a hotel room in Sacramento en route to Hawaii. I am going to spend 12 days on Waikiki beach as I try to take aim on my future.  Part of what I learned this year was about going forward.

Visiting Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs.  Another gift
from God. 

So you will not see me posting about my trip to Hawaii on Facebook.  You can find me on there, but my activity has died.  I no longer check it on the toilet, dmv, or boring staff meetings. If you are my real friend you will be curious enough to read my article and will find me online.

Real friends need a connection.

I am writing another article about my new Facebook philosophy. In the meantime I resolve to post more about what I am doing.  I resolve to do so because I sometimes like to reflect on where I have gone and what I think.  I don't want to wake up my friends with unnecessary bullshit for them, so I will be posting on my blog instead.  I am the primary one that likes to revisit where I have been.  I am a big fan.

Building a Camper-Van.. Conventional or Euro Style?

Deciding what type of van to get.

My first Campervan. 2000 Dodge Conversion. 

This is more important than you think. This is the foundation of your mobile dwelling and you need to make sure it will work for what you plan to do.

Plenty of windows and seating made this van a better passenger
van than a campervan. 

My first camper van had an extended roof. At first I thought this was ideal because I could just about stand up. After owning the van a few years I started to resent the fiberglass top.