Ego and Your Selfish Damnation.

It may be that the person that relishes in their selfishness is actually more altruistic.

On that note it is also true that altruism is in fact a selfish trait.  To feel that your sacrifice means more to others than it actually does is a grandiose attitude. It only serves the self.  Altruism without love is only selfish. Love is the gap, the missing ingredient that serves justice to altruism making a sacrifice toward others.

Ego

Ego is inherently a feeling of self originating in the physical realm. You may feel like you deserve something, are owed something, are something.  This is all an illusion as you are no different than anyone else. It is the perception from the cockpit of our minds. We feel in control. Ego makes you feel good when you feel others are listening to you.  Unfortunately, no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Ego is a very easy thing to observe.  Most of what we say to each other stems from the Ego.

”It is the nature of the ego to take, and the nature of the spirit to share.”
~ Proverb

There are only so many reasons a person has to open his mouth at all.

• To express something - singing, poetry, stories, art.
• To impress - establish the idea of self investment to others.
• To feel important - Everyone wants to feel significant.
• To warn - Universal among all critters that can make noise.

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; Fools, because they have to say something.”
― Plato

Detail of The School of Athens by Raffaello Sanzio, 1509, showing Plato (left) and Aristotle (right) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Once you realize how much of what you say stems from ego, the less you will find yourself talking. Instead you will find yourself listening.  Truly listening.  Listening to the reasons someone is barking, instead of the bark itself.  You will learn that when people criticize you, it says more about them than you. It says they are scared, intimidated, or jealous of you. The only way criticism will be received is by love. People will only care about your criticism if they think you care, or if they want you to care.

Either way you look at it, building your own ego will only end in despair.
Pride comes before the fall.

Manipulation

If you think no one is trying to manipulate you, you are in denial. Manipulations are all around us. Sometimes we are manipulating the manipulators. This is also known among many as the "Game". Where players are players and there are no winners, just takers.

“Everything that deceives may be said to enchant.”
~ Plato

The next time someone does something intentionally to cause you pain.  Consider the notion that they may be betting on a reaction from you. You can even bet your ass that playing along will put you on the losing side of the battle.

Flattery

People that compliment you out of context, exaggerate your accomplishments, and build your ego up may have ulterior motives.

"I can live for two months on a good compliment" ~ Mark Twain

You will be drawn to people who make you feel good about yourself.  It is easy to do.  You may even think you are a partner to this person.  They will always say just enough to make sure you return to them for more.

Not everyone that compliments the job you do are complimenting the job, but the fact that you are doing it and not them.

Cruelty 

Not everyone causes harm for the same reason. It is my belief that this is within a persons soul.  A normal person will become angry if they are harmed physically or emotionally. This anger can empower them to inflict pain on others with a great satisfaction and vengeance. Anger can heal and go away, meanness can not.

Pleasure in the power over others can manifest in many ways. Power and love are often confused.

Honesty without kindness is cruelty.

The ones that are the hardest to love usually need it the most.

Deserve

Deserve is a word of opinion.  Someones judgment implying the rights were already given.  Much like the word entitlement.  Who is using this word and what they give or take from you using it is all based on a judgment.

de·serve

dəˈzərv/

verb

verb: deserve; 3rd person present: deserves; past tense: deserved; past participle: deserved; gerund or present participle: deserving

1. do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment).

   "the referee deserves a pat on the back for his bravery"

   synonyms:

   merit, earn, warrant, rate, justify, be worthy of, be entitled to, have a right to, be qualified for More

Origin

Middle English: from Old French deservir, from Latin deservire ‘serve well or zealously.’

There are some things that you do have and no one else deserves to take them. Such as your honesty, integrity, and dignity.  People will often try and take these away citing that you are not worthy of them. They can only take them from you if you believe they are right when they tell you you do not deserve them.

Listening

It is dangerous to believe that the noise coming out of peoples mouths is nonsense and babble. Take into consideration what is being said, then consider the source. Consider motives, and desires.  You will find people more interesting than they even know. They will also tell you more than you ever wanted to know.

When someone compliments you or criticizes you.  You will be able to detach from the statement and instead understand why THIS person complimented or criticized you.

A flatterer is a friend who is your inferior, or pretends to be so.
~Aristotle

Resources:
30 Red Flags You Are With a Manipulator.
https://www.psychopathfree.com/content.php?212-30-Red-Flags

Jealousy.. The Green Dragon of Envy

What's the difference between a slut and a lady? One will tell you she cheated, the other won't tell you that.

To suggest that someone is lying would be the very accusation of deceitful intent where jealousy is born. Is it so bad that someone get attention from more than just you? This feeling and word has no room in our quest for happiness. To say someone cheated and to judge them for such behavior is to cause suffering for yourself and everyone by proxy.

Can't you see how feeling jealous will cause someone not to want to be around you? Then someone bee-bops on in with a smile and makes your love happy. This irritates you because instead of being happy with your love, you somehow managed to screw up the last reminiscence of whatever made you happy with them long ago.

Perhaps the person you are with causes you to be jealous.  If you can not figure out why you are jealous chances are the problem belongs within you, not your partner. The problem has nothing to do with the trustworthiness of your partner.  The problem started with you being jealous.  When you harbor unresolved jealousies, you cause relationship problems. You are raising this dragon by yourself. Your insecurities will not be attractive to your partner, and they will begin to look elsewhere as you insist you are not worthy with your accusations and turmoil.

People can align with jealousy for power. If you are jealous in all your relationships then you must look inside yourself.  If it is, however, aroused in you by a particular individual you must be very cautious. Everyone gets lonely at times.  It is in these lonely times that it can be an exhilarating rush to have others competing for your attention.  You will find men and women alike that discuss using jealousy to arouse passion in their relationship. This is a desperate, and very dangerous way to receive attention. The dragon of jealousy does not show restraint with it's passion.

Furthermore those that succumb to the power of jealousy will continue to do so until they learn better. You will find that by arousing jealousy you will scare away those that are cautious of it and attract those that align with it. This causes chaos.  Dragons like to defeat other dragons and they all get hurt. 

Jealousy is a timid small sweet creature when it is young. Like children, it brings a bond between those that care about it. Its promises to keep your love lasting in its youth. You should never feed jealousy, and like gremlins there's something about midnight. Jealousy grows up quickly, and soon your chasing this dragon around your bedroom in the middle of the night flailing your arms around like an idiot. Nobody gets any sleep, and the safety of your home grows dim like the grey walls of a prison cell. Threatening the safety of yourself, home, children, or pets will certainly be the death of love.

Nobody cheats, nobody owns you. Stop thinking you can control others' hearts because you can't.  Resistance to what is - only causes you suffering. You can promise loyalty and dedication to someone, but if you promise your heart will never change or love another you are starting to lie. Once jealousy grows its wings it takes couples together in pairs, with both claws to its lair. This dragon does not want to destroy you. This dragon wants to keep you both near. It slays your love under the pretense of keeping it alive. This dragon loves you to death, poisoned by its venomous presence. The selfish nature of this dragon brings a bitter taste with ramifications that scar forever. We ought to discourage those that want to keep these dragons as pets. 

If anyone should recognize this dragon it is green with envy, real only to those that find it in the cracks of a relationship, and remains hidden to everyone else. If you ever see this dragon you must face fearing it. When you open your eyes it will have no power. Most of what you worried about never happened. They fly away easily when they are young. Enjoy the increased time in a happy relationship without the bondage to this dragon. 

The cheated and cheaters are the names given to the victims of jealousy. Let jealousy scurry off to other dragons to live happily when it's young. That's the best for everyone. Try to raise one of these and it will try to hatch you like an egg. Also, I do not know any dragon slayers with credible experience.

BTW..   The dragons biggest trick is convincing you, you are not him.

Updated.. The absolutely best blogging system.

For three years now I have been using Blogger.  I have no reason to go elsewhere.  Since Google has taken ownership there have been no problems as far as I can tell.

As a developer I always had a reason for testing new software and ringing the newest bells.  The one mistake I always made before was mixing my writing with my playground. While I was updating the newest blog software, or messing around in my database, and updating my plugins, my writings have repeatedly succumbed to tragic loss.

Then I went to Blogger and left the programming to the professionals.  Now I could concentrate on my writing.  The time I have had available to write has more than doubled. If you are still interested in my technical analysis, that article can be found here.

My advice was sound though.  Keeping it simple has allowed me to concentrate on what blogging is good for. It is like a car.  If you like taking it apart all the time, you won't have time to go anywhere.

Instead of getting good at installing blog software.  Stick with one and start blogging.

Glass half empty or half full. Your both WRONG!

What does glass half empty or full mean anyway?  Every glass is full everywhere.  There is usually variable amounts of air, but nonetheless every glass is full.  However, what you say about this says more about you than you realize.

Let me explain...

Reality is that the glass is always full, unless you live on the cusp of a black hole and half your glass is in it.  It is full of air, water, juice, or whatever cool-aid your drinking today including this philosophical bullshit. It is still full though, and anyone telling you it is not is trying to sell you something for your glass.

In life...

You have not had time for anything more than you already did. You don't get a chance to do it twice.  Your cup is always full.  You put more cool aid in and you lose air.  You know what happens when your brain loses air? You don't die right away, instead you turn into a clumsy, stumbling, walking blueberry.

So...

The cup is overfilling.  It always is.  Air is spilling in and out, and if that cup is sideways you might only have air in your cup.  Make your cup straight and put what you want in it.

I'm sorry, your hard life has only given you half the blessings you deserve.

For heavens sake.. Stop believing there is a void in your cup!

Are You More Yin or Yang? Quiz

We are all caught somewhere in the Dao.  Either more on the Yin side or Yang side.  We continually fluctuate throughout our lives between Yin and Yang although through our instincts Yang usually comes more naturally to us. It is Yin that most Zen seekers find for balance. You will notice as you take this quiz many questions you may have answered differently at a different time, and you may answer it differently in the future.  This quiz will let you know where you are at this point in time.  Not which way you are moving. 

UPDATE:
Google changed something that broke my code for the quiz so I removed it. Apologies to those that never found out how Zen they are. The quiz was built upon a PDF posted to the internet by Dr Cort Curtis on his website. The quiz was just an adaptation of the manual quiz he posted below.
http://www.achangeinthinking.com/

The PDF can be accessed directly HERE, and has additional information. Alternatively, you can also take this quiz manually by printing out this PDF.

Death and Beyond

Every Religion Requires Belief in Life After Death

Most people of this world agree that intuitively our energy does not cease when it leaves our bodies. Everyone from every religion around the world believes in this basic principle. It is the most common and fundamental belief of the ethereal thought process.

“To be afraid of death is only another form of thinking that one is wise when one is not; it is to think that one knows what one does not know. No one knows with regard to death wheather it is not really the greatest blessing that can happen to man; but people dread it as though they were certain it is the greatest evil." -The Last Days of Socrates”
~ Plato

Life after death gives us hope.  Our conscious mind cannot perceive itself not existing simply because it exist. If we simply returned to the dust, with no continuing purpose our lives would be miserable and full of despair. According to ancient Egyptians it was the one true hell.  To think you are limited and reduced to a mere carbon life form that will be no more at the end of it's physical life is the one true hell.  To believe in dust will only bring emptiness and despair because there is no hope for freedom. We are then subjected to the eternal torture of our own physical ailments because they signal the end of all that is to us.

Energy never ceases, but does change forms. 

Any given energy becomes stronger when focused, and dissipates as it spreads.  It never ceases though.  For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction proving this. Heat energy can change to electrical energy, and electrical energy can spark fire. Fire disperses it's energy, but it is not gone.

“The soul of man is immortal and imperishable.”
― Plato

We as carbon beings can use the energies around us in a focused way in order to leverage dominance over our domain. We as energy sources ourselves can bend, move, and displace other energies as we will.

They say we lose a few grams of weight when we die. Does the soul have physical properties that can be measured? We can measure the electrical currents our body produces. We know that as long as we can move that we can synthesis energy from other forms of energy.  We consume food which was other life material, produced by sunlight.  We live off the sun, the sun is energy. We are energy.

Ego and the physical form. 
It is my belief that ego only exist in the physical form. When we are not in the physical form we are void of ego. In our sleep and when we are unconscious we experience being without a sense of ego. Ego is the sense of self.  When this sense is inflated we gain a sense of control, a sense of progress, and investment. Humiliation on the other hand is when someone degrades your self investment. Humiliation is the trigger for violent behavior. Death in the physical sense is threatened almost exclusively because of the ego in the physical realm. Since the ego is reflected to oneself in the physical realm it cannot transpire in the non-physical realm.

Good and Evil

"Selfishness is the only real atheism; aspiration, unselfishness, the only real religion."
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Most of what we interpret as evil actions are selfish acts imposed by others.  They are a product of the ego. Take away our physical form and we cease to find evil as we know it.  Punishments for crime are imposed for theft, lust, control, or power.  Every violent act in the physical realm has no consequence in the spiritual realm, other than returning you to it.

If you thought for a moment that the person you killed could come back to life in another time and give you grief you would be less likely to attack them. There lies a sense of eternal investment.  In the spirit of ourselves and those we love. This gives us hope and the courage it takes to fully live our lives.

Dissipating Energy

The closest thing I can describe as a true cause to evil acts is the sense of desperation of the ego. It is selfish, but not just to others, but the self. The ego will destruct itself if it is left unchecked. Humility will come. Energy is either growing concentrated or dispersing. People who's energy is dispersing are ok with it. Actions manifest in their lives that give fruit to their spirit. Throwing trash out the window, having little regard for others safety, not bathing, violent acts, drug use to escape. These are signs of dispersing or dissipating energy, and to those that it is happening to; they are alright with it.

Concentrated Energy

This is the most active of energies.  It occurs when we have a celestial purpose.  One that supersedes this life. This sprouts selflessness as we grow.  When we love ourselves we show others love too.  It all begins in ourselves. There is no end to love in this stage, and sacrifice is not at a cost, but returns a blessing.

Karma

Karma is the reaction of the universe to our own actions.  It is neither good or evil, but a name for what comes back around when we do something. When we see karma we either think it is a blessing, or justice.

Fear of Death
Death is inevitable and therefore illogical to worry about. Regardless of your religion or beliefs it is going to happen to you too. Since we cannot change that we must concentrate only on the living, as long as we are.

“[T]hose who practice philosophy in the right way are in training for dying and they fear death least of all men.”
~ Plato, Phaedo

A Horse Named Karma

I approached the storm, the clouds are dark, and the air is cold.
No stranger to the darkness I ride along.
Attacked by deceit, wounded with pain
I carry the wrath of others sins for them.

Spears of guilt, threats of fear
strengthen the ego and pride.
Control is the illusion of grandeur,
a veil over the emptiness of despair.

Karma is my horse, and keeps me high above the mud.
I trust in Karma and he carries me safe
Those that fear, those afraid and weak,
loath the sight of Karma as it comes near.

Energy is either growing, or receding.
Death is welcomed by the receding,
growing energy cannot be stopped.
Impenetrable by death the light shines truth.

Truth is the evidence of action.
Trails of trust left by time and will.
Leave reminders that love causes change,
shining light into the darkest storms.

The clouds open for a moment.
When the sun shines the illusion is gone.
The fear is void and suffering ceases.
The weak all hide from themselves.

The wrath I carry is not mine to give.
Karma takes me where it must go.
With no anger I have no enemies
Anger first destructs it's host.

The power of the wrath breeds in fear,
multiplies in anger, and believes love weak.
The wrath I carry is not for my vengeance,
but those that take it, harm only themselves.

Crystals and Metaphysics to me

A set of chakra stones I keep at work. 

I have always found rocks and semi-precious stones fascinating. Every person I know at one point has picked up a rock or crystal and felt some attraction to it.

My first memorable experience was with a large Iron Pyrite crystal I purchased when I was 8 for $1.  I thought it was cool that people thought it was gold.  It felt valuable and similar to what my young mind would imagine as a huge chunk of gold.

Small part of my collection.

I carried that stone around with me, brought it to school to show my friends and kept it on display in my room.  I can still remember the shape of this stone, the large cubed crystals sticking out of it. I remember how it made me feel to this very day.

Whether it is vibrations of the stone, magical powers, or just the soothing color of the yellow it made an impression on me.

Crystals have proven energy.

Crystals have been a subject of research for centuries. The patterned alignment of atoms in various shapes as elements crystallize is still a mystery for the most part.  Every electronic device we use is made up of elements such as gold, quartz, silicone, and aluminum. We use these elements to communicate, heal, calculate, and assist us in our task.

Peizo crystals

Petrified wood I found in AZ.

All those lighters, and gas stove igniters that click click poof.  They operate by Piezoelectricity.  Simply put there is a small piece of quartz crystal with a metallic spring loaded hammer.  When the hammer strikes the quartz a small electric charge is created. This is what ignites the gas.

Clocks

We keep the most accurate time by counting the vibrations of atoms in elements.  Such as the Atomic Clock.

Sugar Crystals

One skeptic told me one time that the only crystal that gives us energy is sugar.  Yes, it does form very shapely crystals and gives us a large burst of energy. So does salt, copper, iron, and many minerals that aid in the smooth operation of our organic bodies.

Uranium

Just another mysterious rock until the 19th century.  It was discovered that very large amount of energy can be emitted by charging and refining this material then exposing two cores to each other.

Sacred Geometry

Throughout history there have been several shapes we find have very mysterious properties. These shapes are caused by the alignment of atoms in elements as they cool, or condense. Why the specific shapes? We have copied nature in our architecture and design.

Old as the Earth

Local serpentine stone from Calaveras CA. 

Rocks have spanned billions of years before we were here. There are rocks all over space, trillions of them. If we re-incarnate after thousands of years we will still see the same patterns, colors, and shapes of the stones. As a re-incarnate point of reference we can find ourselves in touch with pre-life incarnations of our energy.

Amazing Gifts

As my brother pointed out all of the metaphysical properties of all these stones are positive ones. While there is such a thing as too much good, giving a gemstone can only come from the heart. There is no way to give a rock with ill intentions.  Unless of course you use momentum or force.

Zen to me

The definition of Zen escapes most people who are initially inquisitive of Zen ideas. If you look for a definition they will vary greatly. If you look for an explanation you will likely get a cyclic story or ambiguous statement that will seem like anything but an answer.

Zen has been described best to me as a finger pointing toward the moon, but it is neither the finger or the moon.  It is a guide, a path, and morsels of wisdom for the journey.  It is an understanding and recognition of balance. The ability to detach from that which plagues us to better engage it.

Zen is not whimsical or lazy.

Buddha may have been displayed as a fat man, but in reality he was barely 90 lbs. Just as Christians show Jesus being executed at the alter, religions have always promoted their own beliefs while at the same time blaspheming them.

"Before enlightenment - carry water, chop wood.  After enlightenment - chop wood, carry water."

Zen is about practicing everything. Everything you do can always be done better. It is about living in the very moment you are living and applying effort with leverage to work for the best possible outcome in any scenario. Zen is about taking action just as much and it is not. 

Zen is full of paradox and contradictions. Exercises are designed to give thought and insight, while simplifying ideals into actions. Most people view Zen as a very passive belief system.  You will hear some speak of "going with the flow". This is a manner of going about things.  Not wasting time changing things that cannot be different, and recognizing when to act and to do so with ease and without hesitation.

Zen is the end of suffering.

“I teach one thing and one thing only: suffering and the end of suffering.” ~ Buddha

While the translation of this is not exact and obviously Buddha taught many other things the concept remain.  The root of all suffering is resistance to what is.  A Zen mind will accept that everything is perfect.  Everybody you know,  your enemies, birds, clouds, weather, and even dirt is perfect.  Perfect because it cannot be any other way than it is right at this moment.  In order to wish something different you are not accepting of what is.  Since nothing can be different than it is at this moment to feel things should be different is only suffering.

In order to change things you must accept the good and bad of every situation with understanding that the future will never be the same as now and change is progressive and eminent.  So going with the flow is to not waste time and transition through activities like a leaf in a stream.

Suffering with pain

Pain refers to any situation where force is applied with resistance.   Even the slightest pain can torment a soul if the soul tries to escape the pain, rather than accept.

After an American Indian Chiefs tribe was moved to new reservations multiple times he said, "The soul would have no rainbow, if the eyes had no tears."  This statement does not dis allude the idea that pain has been inflicted, but that there is still beauty present in the soul.  In fact the pain inflicted can cause the beauty of that energy to grow, as there will always be a tendency to move away from suffering. 

Lincoln Commercial Spoofs - Live in your moment

These are great! lol

Inspired by the following awesome commercials.

The originals.

This one is the funniest of all. Jim Carey is hilarious.

A Texas police officer made a hilarious one too.

Relationships Boundaries and Doubts

North shore Kauai November 2014.

My relationships have always lasted a long time, and some ended for one reason or another.  Once again I am single and I am trying to put together what I have learned so far in my life about relationships.  Specifically, how you go about them and how you do not.

There are just some ways you do not do things my grandfather would have scolded.  We are in an age of trail blazing though.  Everyone wants to break the mold of how things have been done for centuries and find new ways.  We are an experimental culture that is constantly seeking a better way than our parents.

When I was young I dug myself
into a lot more holes.

There was a method to the ways of old.  Especially when it comes to dating. There are benchmarks that have to be met in order to qualify the relationship.  If you move too quickly you will put your heart in jeopardy and that feeling of falling in love will turn upside down in pain in an instant.

Only one solution exist to protect our heart, that one solution used throughout all stages of a relationship is boundaries. When we need space that is a boundary. When we feel upset and hurt we have allowed someone to cross a boundary with our hearts. Boundaries should not be used as fences to keep others out, but rather triggers that you can move past once your heart is ready.

Somebody will not hurt you if they are sleeping with someone else unless you have developed a relationship with them that would have sex as a possible interest.  If you are sleeping with that person then it is cheating.  It is because you allowed them into your heart and now you are hurt. You failed to set a boundary when you saw signs.

Cheating is not the cause of any breakup but a symptom of a bad relationship.  When someone invest their heart into you they cannot share this intimacy with another. If that person does not have that interest in you in the first place you must wonder why they are with you.  You may not be in the role in this persons relationship that you want to be.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
~ Rumi

Boundaries

Hawk soars over boundaries. Diamond Mine Hike 2015

Kissing

Once you have engaged in kissing you are already sexually interested in the person.  Some people can have sex without kissing, but never do people kiss without considering sex.

This is a boundary.  Once you have kissed someone you have established a connection of chemistry. Whether you want to go farther is already determined at this point.  This is a trigger, or boundary.

Sex

The trigger tells you to consider the next step.  If you get to this point and have sex then emotionally you have reached another very important boundary.  Sex often happens before trust, but without trust sex cannot last very long.

This trigger makes you consider this very thing.  Unless you have already determined that you have no interest in the relationship other than sex you will most likely start evaluating a future with this person.  Time is the only way to build trust.  Sex is a trust boundary.

Slow shutter speed driving through Los Angeles at night. 

Relationship

Your relationship is building every moment you are in each others lives.  As long as you know each other you will hear about what is going on in their lives. Building this relationship requires communication.  If the communication comes easy as it does in a good relationship you will carry on with each other for hours. You will be interested in their lives and want to be there for them.

Falling in Love

This is a whole different animal.  Not everyone is easy to love.  Building history with someone can build into a long relationship realizing they are in love without falling into it. Falling in love refers to the magnitude of the initial attraction. The clank of two magnets connecting. 

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.”
~ Joan Crawford

Very strong chemistry can take control of your life.  In the ecstasy of falling in love you will most likely not have a chance but to move forward fast.

When love is not madness, it is not love.
~ Spanish Proverb

Like any building that is constructed in haste you will not have a foundation. Arranged marriages work through this same turmoil over time.  Suddenly you are with someone you must trust whether you believe they are worthy of it. Control becomes an issue and some of these relationships will last a lifetime, love is built but they may or may not fall in love.

Relationship path brainstorm.

If you ever want to sleep well at night, don't marry a young beautiful woman.
~ American Indian Saying

Commitment

Sun over the Arizona Desert 2010. 

If you move in with a girlfriend without a commitment you will be poisoning your relationship.
Especially if you move in quickly. You will suddenly wonder if you can trust this person.  You will probably not know how they act around their friends.  At this point you are too late to resolve any jealous feelings without causing a fight.

Say you move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend and throw a party.  Sometime during the night you see them kiss an ex.  Everybody goes home and when you discuss the situation you have no room to run.  Your boundaries are all crossed. Having jealous feelings at this point is going to hurt the other person as well as you. Since hurt people hurt people you will most likely be sleeping in bed mad with the other for not being sympathetic for your feelings, or you them.

Doubts

It is not what you do in life, but how you do it and why.  When you first enter into a relationship you must be able to make a commitment.  If you or the other person is married either on paper or physically living with someone the relationship can never get a full commitment.

If you suspect a man do not employ him, if you employ him do not suspect him.
~ Chinese Proverb

Same goes for relationships of any sort.  Never doubt going into a relationship.

We only regard those unions as real examples of love and real marriages in which a fixed and unalterable decision has been taken. If men and women contemplate an escape, they do not collect all their powers for the task. In none of the serious and important task of life do we arrange such a "getaway". We cannot love and be limited.
~ Alfred Adler

Truth and Concepts

Following the path of least resistance
 is what makes men and rivers crooked.

Every now and then you hear something that make sense to you. There is a sweetness of truth to the message, and it sticks in your head for awhile. Some things are worth meditating on. Every now and then I find a quote that sticks with me, sometimes they give me comfort, or make me think. This page is where I keep many of my favorite quotes organized by concept.

guilt | wisdom | sin | perception | hate | warandpeace | selfish | religion | ego | love | jealousy | fear | truth | deserve | anger

Guilt

“Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.”
~ Voltaire

Guilt is not a productive feeling.  It is a manifestation of a lack of discipline pertaining to ones expectations of themselves. Guilt can be planted simply by suggesting that someone feel bad for something.  Guilt is used to manipulate. Inspiration to lead. 

"Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?"
~Jules Feiffer

One example of how guilt can manipulate.  You are told that God gave up his only begotten son because you were bad and disappointed him. Now if you want to please God you must atone for your sins.

Wisdom

Enlightenment is knowing oneself, wisdom is knowing other people. 

"A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study. "  ~ Chinese Proverb

Wisdom sprouts from all cultures and people.  Everyone who interacts with anyone gains wisdom.

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest;
Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.
~Confucius

Wisdom also pertains to knowing things, and goes hand in hand with knowledge.

“Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.“   ~ Doug Larson

Sin

Sin is a violation of love for something. You cannot be in sin without first loving something and then betraying it. In order to be sin there must be a possibility of guilt. After all you must be guilty to sin. 

Definition from Merriam-Webster Dictionary. 

¹sin

noun \ˈsin\

Definition of SIN

1

a :  an offense against religious or moral law

b :  an action that is or is felt to be highly reprehensible <it's a sin to waste food>

c :  an often serious shortcoming :  fault

2

a :  transgression of the law of God

b :  a vitiated state of human nature in which the self is estranged from God

“When you are guilty, it is not your sins you hate but yourself.”
~ Anthony de Mello, One Minute Wisdom

“Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive.
It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves. ”
~ Stephen Kendrick, The Love Dare

Perception

Perception refers to the view through someone eyes. Perception can be distorted, and based on illusion. Everyone lives in their own perception and no one can fully understand it but them.

“The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people.“  ~ German Proverb

Our perception is based on.

• Our Experiences.
• Our Values.
• Our Egos.
• Our Direction.
• Circumstance.

Hate

You are not punished for your anger, but by your anger.
~Buddha

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s apathy. You cannot hate someone without first having the notion of loving them. Hate is love twisted.  It is an emotional perception that can take control of ones life if not dealt with.

“Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time. Hatred ceases through love. This is an unalterable law.”
~Buddha

Hate (third-person singular simple present hates, present participle hating, simple past and past participle hated)
1. (transitive) To dislike intensely or greatly.
“I hate men who take advantage of women.”
2. (transitive, slang) To dislike intensely due to envy.
“Don't be hating my weave, girl, y'all bitches just jealous!”

From wiktionary.org

Look inside, if you find no anger, you will find no enemies either. ~Buddha

War and Peace

No one loves peace more than a soldier, he found it necessary to die for it.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”
~Buddha

“I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.”
~Buddha

"You cannot win a War on Terrorism.
     It’s like having a war on jealousy."
~David Cross

“It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. “
~Buddha

Selfishness

Too much and too little is not good.

(On himself) "My best quality is that I`m a big hearted person. I`m resilient, too. My worst quality is selfishness, although everyone is guilty of that to an extent. Everyone should be, I think -- you need to respect yourself."
~ Matthew McConaughey

Selfishness is the only real atheism; aspiration, unselfishness, the only real religion.
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Religion

Beware of a man of only one book
English Proverb

Everyone has a God.  Whether they admit it or not, whether it is an object, idea, story, book, deity, or their own denial in which they themselves would be their God.  The thing that rules their life is their God even if it is just simply their own conscious.

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”
~Buddha

Ego

See also: Egoism (disambiguation)
"Ego" is a Latin and Greek (ἑγώ) word meaning "I", often used in English to mean the "self", "identity" or other related concepts.
From Wikipedia

”It is the nature of the ego to take, and the nature of the spirit to share.”
~ Proverb

“The foundation of the Buddha’s teachings lies in compassion, and the reason for practicing
the teachings is to wipe out the persistence of ego, the number-one enemy of compassion.”
~ Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

“The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided. It's more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted. No one is careful of his feelings or tries to keep his spirits high. He seems self-sufficient; he becomes a cushion for others. And because happiness seems unforced, that person usually gets no credit.”
― Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My  Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun

Love

What is love?

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God IS love."
1 John 4:8
(New International Version)

Love is definitely at the root of our emotion.  Because we love we also feel hurt, jealousy, fear, joy, and alive.  Love gets us out of bed in the morning and brushes our teeth.

Love gives life meaning.  Without love there would be no drive, no reason, no fuel to do anything.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
― Lao Tzu

Power is often confused with love.  Throughout all the relationships we have in our life we will all experience this truth.  Anytime we are jealous, envious, or otherwise we are emotionally hurt it is because we have an ill-defined sense of love in one or more of our relationships.  Jealousy and Envy are both feelings that creep upon one in a selfish state.  When we believe we deserve anything, or feel a sense of fairness we are somehow justifying in our mind that things ought to be better for some divine reason.

The one who loves the least controls the one who loves the most. The one who loves the most will always compromise where control will not.

Jealousy

Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits.  ~Paul Eldridge

“Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves”
 Joseph Addison

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value.  Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.  There is only one alternative - self-value.  If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved.  You will always think it's a mistake or luck.  Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within.  Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences.  Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security.  Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.  ~Jennifer James

“Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands.”
 ~ Oscar Wilde

And oft, my jealousy shapes faults that are not.
~ William Shakespeare

Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive.  ~Havelock Ellis, On Life and Sex: Essays of Love and Virtue, 1937

Fear 

Theodore Roosevelt once said that we have nothing to fear but fear itself.  Fear is mostly useless and a waste of our life's energy.  Fear de-abilitates, restricts, and oppresses us when we need to react the most.  To enter a fight with fear in your heart is most always a recipe for catastrophe.

But fear is an indicator at times.  Fear can let us know when to act and give us the motivation to overcome obstacles that are detrimental to us.

Fears can creep out of the most hidden places, and should not be confused with worry.  Worry is an ongoing tension more usually than not related to something that will never happen. We fear the inevitable, or at least it is perceived that way.

“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.”
― Rudyard Kipling, The Collected Works

"Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and all good things will be yours. " ~ Swedish proverb

“We fear the thing we want the most.”
 ~ Dr. Robert Anthony

Think about that one for a min.

“Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment”

Truth

“If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?“ ~ Dogen Zenji

Truth is a morsel of enlightenment that assures us that things ought to be a certain way.  Truth cannot be sought by science alone, as science tries to explain it.  Sometimes the truth escapes even our most closely guarded experiments. Truth has a connection with all humor. Truth is also very intuitive, it can be discovered and sometimes not explained.

For those that seek truth, it is a gem.  It gives understanding where there is none, and shines light on what is secret.  We do not always welcome the truth though.  This is when we can be heard saying

"Ignorance is bliss"

If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.
C. S. Lewis

There is truth in everything around us.  The apparent laws which we do not understand completely rule our lives.  We walk because of gravity, yet we cannot fully understand this principle either. In order to use gravity we do not need to understand it.

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”
~Buddha

“In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true. “
~Buddha

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
~ Marcus Aurelius

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting. ~ Buddha

Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light.
~ George Washington

Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.
~ Albert Einstein

Our duty is to encourage every one in his struggle to live up to his own highest idea, and strive at the same time to make the ideal as near as possible to the Truth.
~ Swami Vivekananda

Deserve

This refers to entitlement. Go back and read Ego again.  If you are still reading this and think you are entitled to anything in this world you are set up for heartache. So unless you think the world is "fair" then you ought to remove this from your vocabulary.

Good deeds bring good good Karma, but that is a spiritual interaction between people that brings blessings.

Anger

"When it is impossible for anger to arise within you, you find no outside enemies anywhere.
An outside enemy exists only if there is anger inside."
~ Lama Zopa Rinpoche

"To be angry is to let others' mistakes punish yourself.
To forgive others is to be good to yourself."
~ Master ChengYen

“The angry people are those people who are most afraid”
~ Dr. Robert Anthony

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” ~ Mark Twain

“The best fighter is never angry.” ~Lao Tzu

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”
~Mark Twain

Life is NOT a journey to the grave

with the intention of arriving safely

in a pretty and well-preserved body,

but rather to skid in broadside,

thoroughly used up, totally worn out,

and loudly proclaiming -- ’WOW, what a ride!!! 

Any coward can sit in his home and criticize a pilot for flying into a mountain in a fog.
But I would rather, by far, die on a mountainside than in bed.
What kind of man would live where there is no daring?
And is life so dear that we should blame men for dying in adventure.
Is there a better way to die?
Charles Lindbergh, Jr.

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.
~ Sholom Aleichem

When it is impossible for anger to arise within you, you find no outside enemies anywhere.
An outside enemy exists only if there is anger inside.
~ Lama Zopa Rinpoche

Benefits of Journaling

Bottles at Sea

One thing that is really cool about the internet, is you can send your bottle out to sea.  Maybe nobody cares at all right now, but someday they may.

Benefits of Writing

Journaling is not about remembering the past, but making
sure you change the things that don't work in the future. 

I have kept a journal for most of my life.  It helps me to organize my thoughts and sort out how I feel.  My opinion always changes with new input, and I reserve the right to change my opinion at any time.

Sometimes I write shit that makes no sense at all.  We are our own worst critic so we must not let it scare us when we embarrass ourselves.

What if my journal somehow found its way online? Some hacker thought it was a funny read so he uploads it to Reddit and half the world knew my deepest "secrets" before I woke up.

I certainly have not done anything that has not already been done in human history.  We all go about doing things in a different way, yet do so many of the same things. I suppose that if someone found my writings I would hope it might help them understand whatever perplexes them in their own lives. I would hope it would bring them strength to know that they are not alone in their struggles. I would hope it gives them a good nights sleep knowing they are not the only one that feels as they do.

Clearer Hindsight

The black boxes of the old days were written
 by a human responsible for the ship and crew.

I started writing in my journal when I was in my early 20's on the advise of a psychologist, and inspired by Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise.

A captains log contained the story of a ship.  It was the earliest black box.  By it you could discern human behaviors and the overall state of a ships moral, as well as the captains integrity and sanity. Only if the log was ever recovered of course.

Whats the Purpose?

My journal remains mostly unedited ramblings of thoughts and opinions mixed with documented events and people from specific times of my life. Life gets busy as we navigate through it. Sometimes things move so quickly we forget times of events such as losing a job, losing a loved one, or starting a new job.  The reality is that I have no reason to read what I have written very often.  Life is continuously moving forward and I have little time to wonder how I can change what I can't.  Your journal helps you over time to put into words what you think you are feeling.  Sorting things out will help you to move forward gracefully and steady.  Your emotions will be more calm, your integrity protected, your alibi documented, and your troubles written to paper and out of your memory.  Your sleep will be calmer and your memory will be free to take in new inputs.  You will pay attention to details more, smell the roses more often, and see the lanes more clearly.

We Lose Nothing.. Only Gain

Flamingos hanging out together at the San Diego Zoo.

I used to think I was afraid of losing love.  It seemed like something that was possible, but now I realize a greater truth than what was originally not apparent to me.  You lose nothing at all.

I think about friends I have had often.  They become a part of you.  Somewhere deep inside their memory still lives. Life is short and it is silly to think that anything will last forever, much less any given time. One thing does last forever though, one thing stands out among all the other character attributes of any individual.  That is how they made you feel.  You cannot get away from this, being around people is something we all have to do.  

From time to time you will disagree, be hurt, betrayed, and neglected by everyone you will ever meet. Everyone will hurt you, it is just the way it is.  Unless you can rise above the hurt.  The hurt happens because they hurt themselves, or have been hurt by others. Hurt people - hurt people.  

I was alone that day :|

How can you fight hurt?  You certainly cannot fight it by hurting others, this just causes a deteriorating atmosphere for all involved. You repay hurt with kindness.  Not the take it on the other cheek sorta thing at all. You do more than turn the other cheek.  You do something that shows your love. It doesn't have to be toward the one that hurt you, and there is such a thing as tough love. You have to put out what you want to get back. Just as negative feelings are contagious so are positive.  

Remember, your mind is like a computer.  You put garbage into it and you will produce more of the same. You cannot make things better by talking about how bad they are.  You can only do what you can in your day. 

Take an extra moment when you are feeling down, depressed, or tormented to stretch your heart.  Do something you would not do naturally, until it becomes the norm.  Give positivity and the negative people will respond surprisingly positive. The ones that are stuck in their ways will find you a party pooper and leave. 

I have loved many negative people in my life.  This is because the average person is less than positive, and love does not discriminate. With some of my friends I have developed some very quality relationships where we do not spend lots of time together.  We spend instead - Quality time. 

This is the amount of time I can share with these individuals before their radiant personalities begin to cause a negative response.  Or the company has outstayed my patience.  This is when the best thing to do is leave.  It does not mean that I love that person less, but different.  

In fact, when you can establish a quality relationship with someone you will love them more. 

Deutsch: Yin Yang (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Symptoms of Balance

• More honesty
• Self realization
• Positive feelings
• Desire
• Challenge
• Interest
• Content
• Trust
• Passion

It is silly to think you can get rid of people by deleting them from your contact list, or your social media. They are still there, you just won't know who is calling when they decide to contact you. 

People do not go away, even in death they live through those that remember them and the mark they made on the earth.

Every moment you experience is one more added to your life.  Never subtracted, count your blessings. Don't devalue or blame anyone for your hurt, adjust yourself, you can think more positively than that.